


Just Thinking About You

by broadwayblainey



Series: Blue Christmas [6]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-23 08:02:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13185819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broadwayblainey/pseuds/broadwayblainey
Summary: Blaine watches Kurt, really watches him.





	Just Thinking About You

It was dark when Blaine left the theatre. Snowing, too, and he loved the snow, so the fact that he missed it made him even angrier that his boss had called an emergency rehearsal so soon after Christmas. She knew he had no excuse; he had no family, at least not in London, and the show was opening in three weeks. Blaine just thanked his lucky stars it wasn't panto this year. It was only a five minute walk to his friend's apartment, he counted that as a small blessing, so he wrapped his coat tighter around him and braved the cold December air. He could hear people singing somewhere close by but he couldn't see them. When he realised he knew the song, he sang along as he walked, his breath fogging out in front of him. It was White Christmas, one of his favourites.  
He let himself into the flat with the key under the mat and was greeted by his old friends and his new one. Kurt was truly something, completely unlike anyone he had ever met. When he had found him on the bridge only a few days before, he had known that instantly, when he had first seen his face, he couldn't look away. He was enchanting; beautiful, but it was more than that. It was like he had met him before but couldn't quite remember it, like he knew him. There was a pull that drew him to Kurt, and he wanted to lean into that pull. That made him feel guilty, of course. Kurt was obviously hurting, Blaine still hadn't learned most of what had happened to Kurt but, the pain he was in was obvious.  
It still was, Blaine saw as he watched Kurt laugh at Brian, who seemed to be vogueing in a blonde bob wig to Mud singing Lonely This Christmas. He was trying to be happy, that was obvious; he didn't want to be upset in front of people he hardly knew, and definitely not during the holidays. But there was something so sad in those pretty blue eyes that made his heart ache. It was there in the moment he stopped laughing, or when he stopped himself from saying something, afraid of being too loud or saying the wrong thing, of speaking his mind or being too Kurt. Blaine could see Kurt doubt himself when he spoke, how he sat and thought over everything he said carefully, he could practically see Kurt's mind working behind his eyes. Blaine looked at him when Kurt thought no one was looking and saw him suck in deep breaths, he saw Kurt compose himself before he spoke. Blaine had never considered himself a violent man but, when he saw Kurt's pain clear as day on his face, he felt like he could kill his husband.  
It was a kind of pain that Blaine understood, and his face was a mask that Blaine had perfected, too. Blaine had that insecurity, the wanting to say just the right thing whenever he spoke, the wanting to please people so they wouldn't be disappointed or angry. And he had known loss, too, maybe not in the way Kurt had, and there's something about it that anyone who goes through it can relate to; the not knowing what to do, like you're in the eye of a storm and everything is moving around you and you can't quite make sense of what's happening. That bone-deep, overwhelming feeling of having no idea what your next move should be. And sometimes weathering the storm isn't the hard part, it's dealing with the fractured pieces that you're left with. Nobody knows how to act when tragedy strikes so Blaine understood how Kurt ended up on the edge like he had.  
Blaine had been there enough times himself.


End file.
